It was the day before St. Valentines Day and Damien was already showering me with gifts. Damien and I didn’t live together because we were not married yet, but he did have the keys to my cardboard box apartment. He took advantage of that. I woke up Monday morning, hungrier than ever. I washed up and went in the kitchen to eat whatever I could find. There was a box of Raisin Bran on top of the refrigerator so I poured the last of it into a bowl. I glanced into the cereal box and noticed a long, red, suede jewelry box. I pulled it out with a huge smile on my face. I opened the box and found a diamond tennis bracelet. The inside of the box read “Baby, if you eat this cereal now, you will be hungry again in an hour or two…at least you will look good. –Love Damien”
I closed the jewelry box and dusted the crumbs off. My heart was racing. How could a man be so sweet? I was not used to this kind of treatment from any man. Before Damien, I had only been seriously committed to one man. His name was Marcus. He changed my life for ever.
I first met Marcus when I was still living in Jersey City and in high school. He had just moved there after graduating high school. Marcus had me sprung, even though he was a cheater. There were rumors floating around the block about him being with a different girl every night without using protection. I didn’t care what people said and I damn sure wasn’t going to leave him. I was in love with him and I didn’t think I would ever get over him. He eventually left me. He disappeared one day and never came back. He left me with nothing. I was heartbroken and unemployed. He was my only source of income. Without him, I thought I couldn’t survive. I had no money, and no where to go, so I was forced to get a job to support my self. Now I work part time and I am in school part time studying to get my associates degree in business management. I had to move out of that luxurious apartment of course and get something I could afford. This cardboard box apartment will just have to do until I marry Damien and move in with him in his two story home. I can’t wait. I love Damien so much. He is such a gentlemen. He told me he did not want to have sex with me until our honeymoon night, when we would be able to make love. This puts me in a dilemma because I cannot wait until our honeymoon night to tell him my secret; how Marcus changed my life forever.
* * *
My day went normal as it always does. I went to school, and then went to work. I did work at a pet store on the Upper East Side. I was exhausted by the time I got off and I did not feel like putting up with the trains. I hate NYC transit. I hadn’t heard from Damien all day. I wondered if he knew what time I got off of work. I decided that I would call him when I got home. I grabbed my coat and bag. Then I kissed my favorite puppy goodnight and promised her that I would take her home with me as soon as I saved up enough money. She was so adorable. I did not want to say goodbye. As I turned around to leave, there was Damien standing behind me with a huge smile on his handsome face.
“How cute!” he said making fun of me and the puppy.
I instantly started blushing.
“Shut up.” I said. I gave him a big hug and a kiss.
“You want her?” he asked.
“What?” My heart dropped.
“Do you want the puppy?” He started flashing his million dollar smile again and I got weak in my knees.
“Well …yea but I can’t aff…”
“I’ll buy her for you.” He said softly.
“Oh my god! You will? For real?”
“Yeah baby.” He said pulling out his wallet and looking like he wanted to pat himself on the back.
We stood at the counter playing with our new puppy.
“So what do you want to name her?” he asked.
“Cookie. I already named her from the first time I saw her.”
“Aight. I wanna take you out to eat tonight. Then you and cookie can spend the night at my house so we can bring in Valentines Day together.
“Okay.”
I was kind of nervous about staying over his house. He promised we would not have sex until our honeymoon night, but only god knows what will happen when two people who are engaged to be married share the same bed. I still had not told Damien my secret and I wasn’t planning to because everything was so right. But I had to. I couldn’t keep leading him on like this.
Damien took me home to get some things, take a shower and change. Then we went back to his house to drop off my bag and Cookie, who had fell asleep on our way there. By this time I was starving and still nervous about spending the night with him, but I decided to face that problem when it came up. Right now I was ready to eat. He drove us down town to some fancy restaurant that I had never seen or heard of before. We were both dressed up and looking nice. The night was special so far. I did not want it to end.
While eating dinner we talked about everything from our parents, to our childhood, to marriage.
“I remember back in high school, my best friend M.T. and I, we used to say that we would never get married because one girl was not enough for us. We had to have every female we came across. Settling down was not a part of the plan. But now I am ready to settle down with you. I can’t believe how things change.”
“I know right?” M.T… M.T…it sounded familiar.
“What ever happened to your friend M.T.?”
“Oh…after our graduation, I heard he was moving out to Jersey City. I was going to Houston so we had to go our separate ways. I haven’t heard from him since that summer before I left for college. I wish I hadn’t lost touch though cuz he was my best friend since freshman year. He was like a brother to me.”
“Oh…well I’m sorry you guys lost contact.” My hands started to shake.
“It’s cool. I just wish I knew how his life ended up, if he’s as happy as I am.”
“Excuse me. I have to use the bathroom.” I walked off as fast as I could without making it seem too obvious. When I got inside the bathroom, I rinsed my hands and face, and then told myself that it couldn’t be.
* * *
Despite the long day I had, I was wide awake when Damien lay down beside me in his bed. He seemed wide awake also. My heart started beating faster as he slid his hand under my side of the cover and started kissing on my neck. Silent prayers kept repeating over and over in my mind. I prayed that tonight would not be the night that Damien discovered my secret. I prayed that if he did, he would not leave me over it. My stomach was in knots as I pushed his hand away.
“What’s wrong baby?”
“You said we would wait for our honeymoon night.” He sensed the fear in my voice.
“I know. I’m sorry. It’s okay if you’re not ready.”
“I am ready.” Words were starting to come out and I couldn’t control it. I wished I would have left it at that.
“So what’s the matter?” He looked like he was getting frustrated.
“Nothing.”
“Are you sure, cuz you don’t look too well.”
There was nothing I could say. Now would be the perfect time to spill my heart out to him. But the words just wouldn’t come out. My mind went blank.
“What does M.T. stand for?” I could not believe where I was going with this.
“What?” He looked lost and confused.
“Your best friend M.T... what do those letters stand for?”
“Marcus Timmons. Why?”
I sat up in the bed. My whole world felt like it came crashing down. There was no turning back now. I took a deep breath and exhaled.
“Marcus Timmons is my ex- boyfriend. We got together when he first moved to Jersey City. I moved in with him and everything. I actually loved a man for the first time. I thought nothing could go wrong until he started cheating nine months before we actually broke up. He eventually left me. Two months later, I discovered that I had been living with aids for eleven months. You want to know how your best friend M.T. ended up? He gave me aids Damien. He changed my life forever.”
“You…you have aids??” He sat up in bed and started rubbing his forehead as if he was in deep thought.
“And you got it from my best friend M.T.?”
“Yes. Damien I am so sorry that I led you on like this. I didn’t even know that the same man who gave me aids is your best friend until you told me at dinner. I don’t even know what to say to you because nothing can make it better.”
“There is nothing you can say. I don’t want any thing to do with you any more; I don’t get down like that.” He started to get up out of bed.
“Damien, where are you going?” I started to get up out of bed too.
“I’m going to sleep on the couch. In the morning you can pack your stuff and ill take you home.”
“What about the wedding??” My heart beat sped up.
He grabbed a pillow and a blanket.
"What about it?"
