Monday, June 14, 2010

I'll never know where the emotion ends, but I can rely on my sisters to help mend any heart break I shall ever recieve, and that's all I'll ever need.

So last night was one of those nights where I experienced a wide range of every possible emotion I could within a span of just a couple hours. I experienced it all with the ladies who know me best, my sisters. I love my sisters more than anything, especially because recently I don't get to see them as much since we live in different states. Whenever we all get together it is nothing short of just a genuine, fun time. I rarely have conflicts with these ladies because we are all considerate and appreciative of each other, value each others friendship, confide in each other and love each other unconditionally. But of course every relationship has its ups and downs.

My older sister kia and I had a disagreement over a statement made while we were getting ready to go out to a party. At the time it seemed like nothing else mattered and I was just drowning in my own angriness stemmed from the disagreement that I didn't even want to go out anymore. It was so weird because just a few minutes before I was beyond excited for the wonderful night I knew I was about to have. We managed to talk it out briefly in order to resume with out plans. I didn't really know how to go about solving the issue because we rarely disagree and if we do, our discussions rarely escalate.


This is my sister Kia and I after the disagreement, on our way to Stimulus after pride party in Philly.

Anyway, as my sister Tas and I enter the party, Kia is out finding parking with her girlfriend Laura. Tas and I are taking pictures and already having a good time.


Eventually, we realize our mother has been calling us non stop and we were too busy to answer. We decided texting her since we wouldn't be able to hear over the loud music. That's when we got the dreaded text message response that no one ever wants to receive.
"Your aunt Soogie is dying." Without warning those words were written across the screen of my sisters phone while we stood on the balcony of the venue in complete shock. At that moment I just wanted to hold my mother and tell her I love her dearly. Her sister, best friend, and such a beautiful soul was experiencing what could potentially be her last moments of life. Since my mother was in New York while we were in Philladelphia, there wasnt anything to be done at that moment. I could never be able to imagine that pain and it only made me want to hold my sisters and thank God for blessing me with such beautiful, loving ones.
When Kia and Laura found their way to us after parking they appeared to be in party mode. Kia was waving her hands in the air and Tas and I were dazed and expressionless. Tas was on the phone with our mom receiving the details. I had to break the news to Kia. She went from excitement to crying in an instant. Seeing the pain in tears in her eyes immediately triggered my tears while I was trying to console her. We were told she is breathing on a respirator and they were soon going to be pulling the plug.

This was our view from the balcony of the venue after recieving the bad news.

I don't know what is worse, to be told someone has passed away, or to be warned that they are about to pull the plug. My aunt Soogie was loosing the battle against her illness, Lupus. I felt like everything leading up to that moment was worthless, and I would trade it all just to save her life. Kia helped me grasp this tragedy by explaining to me that she was just too good to be in pain and suffering here on earth. Her work is done, and its time for her to go be with her son, my cousin who passed away several years ago.

I realized she was right and we came to the conclusion that whatever we were arguing about before was so stupid and pointless. I am just grateful to have my sisters. The little things in life don't matter. Just the life itself. That is something that can be taken away at any given moment and should be cherished and celebrated. We hugged each other and said we love each other. We wiped our tears and were able to go back to the party knowing that we were celebrating being lucky enough to have known such a positive, loving, beautiful person. Having her as an aunt is truly a blessing and we know for a fact she is going to be better off now.

In the end we had one of the best nights we have had together in a long time. I feel like a better person making up with my Kia and having something like this bring us closer together because we realize life is just way too short, and wasting time and energy over unimportant things is something we cant get back. I am coping with this tragedy like an adult and I wouldn't be able to without my own two sisters by my side the entire time.

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